The Art of Making People Feel Important (And Why It Works So Well)
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou
Why Do We Crave Feeling Important?
At our core, we’re social creatures wired to seek validation and significance.
Psychologist William James called the desire to be appreciated "the deepest principle in human nature."
Neurologically, being recognized activates the brain's reward circuitry (ventral striatum and prefrontal cortex), releasing dopamine — the same feel-good chemical triggered by food, money, and even love (Izuma et al., 2008).
The Power of Validation
When you make someone feel seen and important, you create a powerful emotional bond.
Dale Carnegie, in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, argued that the ability to make others feel important is one of the fastest ways to win trust and loyalty.
How to Master This Art
1️⃣ Genuinely Listen (Without Interrupting)
Listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to talk.
Active listening — nodding, maintaining eye contact, summarizing their points — signals that their words truly matter to you.
2️⃣ Remember and Use Their Name
People’s favorite word is their own name. Using it strategically in conversation instantly makes interactions more personal and warm.
3️⃣ Ask for Their Opinions
People feel important when you seek their advice or insights. This doesn’t just flatter them — it empowers them.
4️⃣ Acknowledge Their Efforts (Not Just Results)
Complimenting someone on the effort and process (“I saw how much thought you put into that presentation”) feels more authentic than praising only outcomes.
5️⃣ Highlight Their Unique Strengths
Pointing out what someone does uniquely well affirms their individuality — and deepens your connection.
Why This Works So Well
When someone feels important, they associate that warm, rewarding feeling with you.
This not only strengthens social bonds but also positions you as someone who "gets it" — a rare trait in a world obsessed with self-promotion.
Long-Term Impact
Leaders who make their team members feel important foster higher engagement, loyalty, and performance (Gallup, 2020).
On a personal level, relationships deepen because the foundation is built on genuine appreciation and respect.
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References & Sources
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Izuma, K., Saito, D. N., & Sadato, N. (2008). "Processing of social and monetary rewards in the human striatum." Neuron, 58(2), 284–294.
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Carnegie, D. (1936). How to Win Friends and Influence People.
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Gallup (2020). State of the Global Workplace Report.