Why Some People Intentionally Give You Bad Advice (And How to Detect It)
“Bad advice doesn’t always come from ignorance. Sometimes, it comes from intent.”
Most people assume advice is offered in good faith — a helpful attempt to guide, support, or protect.
But in reality, not all advice is neutral, and not all advisors want you to succeed.
Some people intentionally give bad advice to:
preserve their advantage
protect their ego
maintain hierarchy
reduce competition
avoid responsibility
This isn’t always malicious or obvious. Often, it’s subtle, socially acceptable, and wrapped in concern.
This article explores why some people deliberately give bad advice, the psychological incentives behind it, the patterns that reveal it, and how to protect yourself without becoming cynical or closed off.
1. Advice as a Status-Preservation Tool
Advice can be a way to maintain relative position.
If someone feels threatened by your growth, they may:
discourage risk-taking
promote “safe” but stagnant paths
downplay ambition
The advice sounds reasonable — even wise — but its outcome keeps you small and them comfortable.
Pattern: The advice consistently lowers your ceiling, not your risk.
2. Ego Protection Disguised as Guidance
When your potential highlights someone else’s unfulfilled goals, advice becomes defensive.
They may say:
“That’s unrealistic.”
“Be practical.”
“It’s not worth the effort.”
This isn’t about your idea — it’s about protecting their self-image.
Your success would force them to confront what they avoided.
Pattern: The advice mirrors their own compromises.
3. Competition Masked as Concern
In competitive environments, bad advice can be strategic misdirection.
Instead of direct sabotage, people:
omit key information
exaggerate risks
steer you toward suboptimal choices
Because it’s framed as “help,” it avoids accountability.
Pattern: Their advice benefits them more than it benefits you.
4. Advice From People Who Don’t Live With the Consequences
Some people give advice because it costs them nothing.
They:
won’t bear the downside
won’t share the risk
won’t experience the outcome
Detached advice often prioritizes comfort over accuracy.
Pattern: The advisor has no stake in the result — but strong opinions about it.
5. Moral Framing to Shut Down Critical Thinking
Bad advice often hides behind moral language:
“A good person wouldn’t do that.”
“You shouldn’t want more.”
“That’s selfish.”
Moral framing replaces analysis with shame.
Once morality enters, questioning stops.
Pattern: You feel judged rather than informed.
6. Projection of Fear as Wisdom
Fear is frequently disguised as caution.
Someone afraid of failure may advise:
excessive preparation
endless waiting
avoiding visibility
This feels responsible — but it delays action indefinitely.
Pattern: The advice emphasizes avoiding loss over creating opportunity.
7. Keeping You Dependent on Their Guidance
Some people want to remain your reference point.
They give advice that:
creates confusion
requires constant clarification
keeps you seeking approval
Bad advice isn’t meant to end the problem — it’s meant to extend dependence.
Pattern: You feel less confident after following their guidance, not more.
8. Plausible Deniability Through Vagueness
Intentionally bad advice is often:
vague
non-committal
unfalsifiable
If it fails, they can say:
“That’s not exactly what I meant.”
“You misapplied it.”
This avoids responsibility while preserving influence.
Pattern: Nothing is clear enough to evaluate success or failure.
9. Advice That Conflicts With Evidence or Experience
When advice consistently contradicts:
data
expert consensus
your own lived experience
…but is delivered with confidence, that’s a signal.
Confidence can mask low-quality guidance — especially when authority or familiarity is involved.
Pattern: The advice sounds certain but doesn’t hold up under scrutiny.
10. Repeated Patterns, Not One-Off Mistakes
Everyone gives bad advice occasionally.
What matters is pattern frequency.
If someone’s guidance repeatedly:
stalls your progress
increases doubt
benefits them
ignores outcomes
…it’s no longer accidental.
Pattern: The advice fails in the same direction, every time.
Why This Works Psychologically
Humans are wired to:
trust familiar voices
defer to perceived authority
seek reassurance under uncertainty
Bad advice exploits these tendencies — especially when delivered calmly, confidently, and repeatedly.
This doesn’t mean you’re gullible.
It means social trust is being used strategically.
How to Detect Bad Advice Early
Ask: Who benefits if I follow this?
Check incentives, not intentions
Compare advice with evidence and outcomes
Separate fear-based caution from reasoned risk
Notice how you feel afterward (clear vs. confused)
Prefer advice from people living the result
Good advice increases agency.
Bad advice increases dependence.
Final Thought
Not all bad advice is malicious — but some is intentional.
The goal isn’t to distrust everyone.
It’s to evaluate advice by alignment with reality, incentives, and outcomes — not by tone or familiarity.
Clarity is your protection.
And discernment is a skill — not a personality trait.
If you found this article helpful, share this with a friend or a family member 😉
References & Citations
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Cialdini, R. (2006). Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Harper Business
Gigerenzer, G. (2014). Risk Savvy. Viking
Simon, G. (2010). In Sheep’s Clothing. Parkhurst Brothers
Tetlock, P. E. (2005). Expert Political Judgment. Princeton University Press